


A Kind of Peace

by MisMiz (Jaaaaack51)



Category: The Magnificent Seven (TV)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Everybody Dies, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, One Shot, Reflection, Sad, Self-Destruction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-02
Updated: 2015-12-02
Packaged: 2018-05-04 12:25:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5334029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaaaaack51/pseuds/MisMiz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which one death leads to another. And another. And another. And another.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Kind of Peace

The sound of thunder woke Vin Tanner from his restless slumber. With a sigh, he sat up in his bunk and leaned back against the wall.

_Just as well._ He'd tried sleep, hoping to escape the endless regrets that haunted his every waking moment, only to have them invade his dreams as well. Asleep or awake, it seemed he'd have no peace until he faced these particular ghosts.

_Ghosts..._ With a choked sound that was dangerously akin to a sob, he buried his face in his hands. Ghosts were all he had left to keep him company. Ghosts of memory. Ghosts of sorrow. Ghosts of regret. Ghosts of the past.

Familiar feelings of guilt and despair rose in him. But instead of trying to fight them, as he usually did, this time he offered no resistance as his traitorous memory dragged him inexorably back. Back to the day everything had changed.

"I’m sorry we never had a chance to clear your name, Vin. " Chris Larabee's voice was barely a whisper.

"Hang in there, cowboy. We’ll make it to Tascosa yet." Vin attempted a feeble smile. “Right, Nathan?"

He glanced up at the healer, who was kneeling in the dirt on the other side of Chris, trying desperately to staunch the constant flow of blood from his friend's chest. Nathan's arms were crimson to the elbows and still the puddle of blood around Chris grew steadily larger. JD and Josiah had gone to fetch the healer’s medicine bag while Ezra kept the curious townsfolk back. The expression on Ezra’s face was such that no one argued with him.

Even as Vin shook his head in denial, he could feel Chris's grip on his hand slackening. He held on tightly, trying to infuse some of his strength into the too still body. He refused to let go, even after Nathan reached out and gently closed the lifeless eyes.

Vin could hear the other people around him, but their sorrow seemed a distant thing. He felt numb. He couldn't think. Couldn't feel. He might have remained kneeling there forever, if Buck hadn’t come running up shouting Chris’s name and sinking to his knees beside Vin, jostling him roughly in the process. 

“It’s my fault. It should’ve been me.” Buck shook his head violently when Vin started to speak. “My fault.” he repeated. Then he leapt to his feet and was gone before Vin or any of the others had a chance to react.

Vin had found out later that the insanely jealous husband of Buck's current lady friend had been the one to walk up and shoot Chris at point blank range. In a vain attempt to both frighten her husband and protect Buck, the woman had named Chris as her lover. She had underestimated the depth of her husband’s jealousy and rage, however, and she had been the first to die for it. Buck had been the one to find her as she lay bleeding at the foot of her bed. Buck had been too late to save her and he and Vin had both been too late to save Chris. 

"What do we do now?" Vin closed his eyes at JD's anguished words, blinking back tears he couldn’t afford to shed. Opening them, he bowed his head over Chris's hand, taking that one last moment. Then he got slowly to his feet and looked around at the remaining men. It was up to him now. Squaring his shoulders, he vowed he wouldn't fail them like he’d failed Chris.

_But I did._ Vin thought bitterly. He'd failed all of them. That's why he was here. He deserved to be here.

Buck and JD had been the next ones that Death claimed for its own. Buck's feelings of guilt were expressed in an increasingly belligerent attitude. The other men hardly recognized their formerly happy go lucky friend. That man seemed to have died along with Chris and the one who had taken his place seemed intent on fighting and drinking his way into an early grave alongside the gunslinger. 

Vin's own grief gnawed at him continually. It was all he could do to hold himself together enough to take over JD's duties as sheriff, while that young man shadowed Buck, determined to keep his friend out of trouble.

Vin thought, not for the first time. _JD was just a kid. If I hadn't been so caught up in my own pain, I might've realized how out of control Buck had become. Chris would've known._ Even as he berated himself, he recognized how useless it was. Buck and JD were dead. Killed in a senseless, drunken brawl, just like a thousand others the seven of them had broken up during their time in Four Corners.

After losing Buck and JD, he had decided it was time to move on. Josiah and Nathan were settling in and making a place for themselves in the town. They didn't need looking after. Vin wasn't sure what Ezra's plans were, but he reckoned the gambler would do better without the company of an ex-bounty hunter with a price on his head. He'd made Nathan and Josiah promise to stay in town and not come after him no matter what they heard. He didn't exactly tell them of his plans to go to Tascosa but he figured they'd probably guessed since they'd been so reluctant to give him their promise. Eventually he had prevailed, however. He was determined he would not have their deaths on his conscience.

He was saddling his horse in the livery a few days after Buck and JD’s funeral, when he felt, rather than heard, someone approach. He looked up, and there stood Ezra, saddlebags packed and ready to go.

"Why Mr. Tanner. I am simply crushed that you did not think to invite me on your little excursion." The southern gambler made a valiant attempt at his usual banter, but Vin could see the shadows in his eyes.

Vin shook his head grimly. "You aint going Ezra."

"I beg to differ", began Ezra. Then he abruptly dropped all pretense. "I am going my friend." he'd said quietly. Vin could hear the steel under the silk in his voice

And so they had ridden out together towards Tascosa.

Vin cursed the weakness that had caused him to allow Ezra to accompany him. He'd gotten used to having friends around, watching his back. Being his friend had led Ezra to his death. They'd never even made it to Tascosa. They'd gotten caught in an ambush a few miles outside of their destination. The memory of Ezra's pain wracked green eyes filled his vision and he squeezed his eyes shut tightly, leaning back against the wall. He wished he'd never...

_Never what?_ He opened his eyes. _Never met Chris? Or Ezra? Or the others?_ Every part of him rose up in protest at the thought. He couldn't wish that. Those days had been the only time in his lonely existence that he had felt like he belonged somewhere. He'd mattered to someone. To six other someones. Selfish as it might be, he found that he didn’t want to give that up, even if it was just in his own head.

Inexplicably, he felt his load of guilt and sorrow ease a bit. Another flood of memories washed over him, this time untainted by guilt or grief.

He remembered a lean, blond gunslinger and a single glance that had changed his life. He remembered a pair of hands probing gently at his wounds even as their owner scolded him roundly for obtaining them. He saw a young, innocent looking kid proudly wearing his shiny silver badge. A tall man stood next to him, grinning merrily. A dapper looking gentleman shuffled cards in the saloon, showing a glint of gold tooth when he smiled. And from somewhere in the distance he seemed to hear a deep voice rumble. "Peace be with you my brother."

Vin's musings were cut off by the arrival of the guard. "Time to go, Tanner." he said, opening the door to the cell.

Vin had managed to find a kind of peace in his last moments of life. As they tightened the noose around his neck, he could only hope that death would be so kind.  


**Author's Note:**

> I will leave it to you to imagine that Josiah and Nathan led long and fulfilling lives. Or not. 
> 
> Thank you for reading.


End file.
